What happens to intimacy when the ego dissolves?How do psychedelics impact the way we connect, communicate, and feel safe with others?

In this experiential talk, we’ll explore how psychedelic experiences can deepen intimacy—not just in romantic relationships, but in how we relate to ourselves, our bodies, and our communities. We'll discuss how medicine journeys can bring hidden patterns to the surface, unlock emotional openness, and challenge how we give and receive love.

Whether you're curious, cautious, or already walking this path, this conversation is for anyone interested in how psychedelics intersect with love, vulnerability, boundaries, and connection.

Expect:

• Insightful discussion on psychedelics + attachment

• Real talk about triggers, trust, and trauma

• Tools for post-journey integration around intimacy

• Intimacy with self, partners, friends, spouses, group spaces

• A grounded, safe, and judgment-free space

  Transcriptions:

• Speaker 1 (00:03):
  

  Cool. So I'm going to get going, and we might have some people trickle in as they do. We'll just gently let them into the room. But I'm very excited to be here. Today. I'm going to be doing a talk on psychedelics and intimacy, exploring the art of psychedelic intimacy with self and others. So just a disclaimer, this information presented is for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute medical, psychological, legal, or therapeutic advice. While a lot of the things that I'll talk about are therapeutic practices and may involve psychedelic substances and consent, none of the content should be interpreted as medical guidance or recommendations for medical treatment, diagnosis, or legal action.

  (01:06)
  So what we'll discuss today, what is intimacy safety First consent for altered states communication, the inner beloved relational intimacy and aftercare. So just to get a read on the room, maybe put in the chat, who here is maybe a newbie? And who here is seasoned, A seasoned psycho knot? I'd be curious to get a read at a room. Okay, so we have a virgin noob. Noob. Cool. And I'll assume everyone else is just seasoned in their own way. Oh, two dozen journeys over six years. Make me a beginner. Oh, doesn't sound like a beginner to me.

  Speaker 2 (02:13):
  

  I think maybe there's an element of beginning again. The more you begin, the more you realize how much of a beginner you are.

  Speaker 1 (02:22):
  

  Yeah, yeah, I get that. So a little bit about me. For those who are not familiar, I'm Josh Jupiter. I'm the founder of Brooklyn Balance, LLC. I'm a psychedelic integration coach and facilitator. I have various certifications, professional trainings such as through TAM integration, maps, psychedelic support, and more. And fun fact is I'm a native New Yorker, born and raised in Manhattan. Some background. So I had my first psychedelic experience in 2003. It was very life-changing. It really made an impact in my life. I could say. One of the things was it really made me want to start to be healthier. In 2008, I graduated with a degree in film production, right after I began to suffer debilitating anxiety attacks, and I was prescribed SSRIs. In 2016, I got off of SSRIs and I began to explore psychedelics with my therapists and community.

  (03:43)
  In 2020, I got burnt out from film production. I pushed pause and I pursued a new path. Today in 2022, I founded Brooklyn Balance, LLC. In 2023, I took maps training, studied with TAM integration, their 12 month certification program. And today I'm a full-time psychedelic integration service provider. So this is a cool photo. Once a semester. I teach at NYU. If you're familiar with this guy, it's Rick Doblin. And then this is some of us from the local Brooklyn community. So now the focus more on this talk intimacy and psychedelics. So what is intimacy? I guess just maybe drop in the chat. What are your initial thoughts when you think of intimacy?

  (04:55)
  Being close and vulnerable with someone? Deep connection, open heart, open to understanding another. Yeah, definitely I would surely agree with that. Feelings of closeness and deep connection beyond physical intimacy, emotional, intellectual, and experiential closeness and vulnerability, trust, open communication, shared experiences are the three points that I am referring to when I refer to intimacy. Nicholas says, soul connection, privacy. Emily says, connecting with myself and or others with truth and vulnerability, openness and vulnerability, connection to oneself and others. Great. I love all this. So when it comes to intimacy, there's some pillars. The first one is emotional intimacy, openness, vulnerability, trusting, ability to share, accept and be one's, true self spiritual intimacy. Shared beliefs, values, spiritual experiences, shared purpose meaning connection to something greater. And in physical safety, right? We talk about holding the space. So holding the space is emotional, spiritual and physical safety, feeling secure, no harm, ensuring wellbeing. So a question I have, and if you brought a pen and paper, you could write it down, or if you're comfortable putting it in the chat and sharing, where do you feel the most intimate with yourself and where is it challenging?

  Speaker 3 (07:06):
  

  Sorry, Josh, where in your life or where in your experiences, or what do you mean?

  Speaker 1 (07:15):
  

  Well, I guess I would say Emily, it could be anything really. It could be life. It can be in your relations. It could be your relationship with your intimacy with yourself, others, or in the group space. Or if you have a different take on it, you can go with your own take. So Reggie wrote in meditation, I am most intimate with myself. And if anyone's called to unmute themselves or share here, that's welcome too. I can share for myself that one of the reasons I'm excited to do this talk is because in the past for myself, I lacked. I lacked intimacy. I lacked intimacy with myself, and I lacked intimacy with others, and I lacked intimacy in groups. And I found it very challenging at times to really get close to people. And so today, I have a lot more of this intimacy with myself, with my partners, and with all the groups that I'm in. All right. We have some things here. Phil says, during sex, authentic, relating over a difficult topic. I'm curious what a difficult topic might be for you. Nicholas says, I feel more intimate when I face my challenges.

  (09:12)
  Awesome. Thank you all for sharing, and if anything else trickles in, please put it in the chat. Sharing ideas and experiences. I have a mantra that helps me ground. Where are you now? Cool. Yeah, where are you now? I really like that. So when we have more intimacy, there's definitely some benefits to it for sure. One might experience stronger relationships, increased happiness, enhanced physical intimacy, sex and sensuality, personal growth with spiritual intimacy. One might have the benefits of shared spiritual practices, meaningful conversations, mutual support, personal growth, emotional wellbeing, and sense of awe and wonder, physical safety. So when we feel held, our nervous system can relax. We can feel less stress, less anxiety, more expansion, more positivity, presence, respect for boundaries and enhanced satisfaction, creating a container.

  (10:42)
  So we all have unconscious strategies to feel safe, our patterns, our subconscious ways, right? For me, if I'm on the subway, maybe I want to stand in the corner to make me feel safer. That's my pattern that's just embedded in me. Or maybe I want to stand in the middle. So some common ones we might experience are people pleasing, withdrawing, avoiding controlling, micromanaging. I guess if any of these resonate with y'all, maybe just put a one in the chat. Or maybe if you're open to sharing things that you're aware of for yourself, pop it in the chat as well. Caretaking. So these patterns are often invisible in daily life. They feel this is just how I am. I love being in the corner on the subway. That's just what I do. Psychedelics amplified the nervous system. What gets unresolved gets louder. What's protective gets exposed? Daniel, shared experience, not belonging. Thank you for sharing, Daniel.

  (12:18)
  So some common experiences wanting connection, but feeling unsafe, receiving it, trying to control the trip to avoid vulnerability, disassociating, closing or hyper-focusing on others' needs. These are not problems. They revealed the revealed pathways to healing. So with awareness, we can begin to notice old patterns in real time, meet them with compassion and practice choosing something new. Safety equals capacity to stay present with what's arriving. So when we experience taking medicine with someone, things can arise. So I have this example here of Sam and Leah, a couple. They take MDMA together, intending to deepen their intimacy. As they got undressed and closer together, Leah suddenly felt exposed and subconscious about her body. Instead of feeling connected, she wanted to hide under a blanket. She pulled away and Sam felt confused and hurt.

  (13:33)
  So some insight to this situation is that later in the journey with Sam leaning in with unconditional acceptance and no pressure to connect, Leah shared how much shame she carries about her body, especially when intimate with others. The MDMA helped her speak without collapsing into shame. And Sam just listened without fixing what felt like a disconnection actually became a doorway to deeper intimacy. And so again, it's if we have an underlying thing, if there's something in the subconscious, if there's a pattern, if there is a feeling of within us, psychedelics are amplifiers, and it's possible that this could come up. So if there's a couple that decide to take a medicine together and they're not in a proper container with knowing each other, knowing how to be nonjudgmental, knowing how to listen, reactions can happen and it can go into all out fights, breakups, or with the proper tools. It can go into really deep connection and really beautiful experiences and really great growth in relationships.

  (15:06)
  Another example, during a group MDMA experience, my kept checking on everyone else adjusting pillows, offering water, asking if they were okay, even though she was emotionally overwhelmed. So later on, Maya realized she equated being useful with being lovable. Maybe when she was a kid. That's how love was received. When she finally allowed herself to receive support, she broke down crying, not from sadness, but from the awe of feeling safe without needing to earn it. So if one is by themselves or if one is with a partner or is with a group, trauma responses can come up. And I like to say, you get to choose what safety means to you. So if safety is, Hey, I'm going to pull myself away and go sit underneath this tree for a little while, cool. Or Hey, I feel really comfortable with, I feel more comfortable with the blindfold off, then I feel safe. Cool.

  (16:29)
  So that leads into consent in altered states. So whether you're with a big group or it's just two people, setting boundaries, making agreements about everything before and during and after is vital. Altered states require a deeper, more spacious consent container, clear explicit guidelines, hard boundaries over communication for setting a container. So an example I have is Tyler and Jules went into a two CB journey as a couple beforehand. They agreed to be physically intimate during the experience, but midway through Jules felt tender and vulnerable and no longer wanted physical contact. Tyler also in a wide open emotional state, felt rejected and confused. He thought they had clear agreements and had an expectation.

  (17:34)
  So consent is dynamic. Consent can be revoked at any time. This is really important to remember, especially when in altered states things get blurry. People forget things. Altered states can bring up unexpected emotional layers. And honoring a change of mind is just as important as the original. Yes. So communication. And when it comes to communication, something I love is honesty and transparency, because this honesty creates distance. So when it comes to communication, speaking from sensation, not story. So sharing what's happening in my body right now, instead of getting lost in a narrative, interpreting or blaming, allowing what's organically, surfacing or bubbling to come story might sound like maybe you've heard that. Maybe drop a a one in the chat. If you heard these things before, you always ignore me when I'm vulnerable. You never want to, I'm having a bad experience because of what you said.

  (19:01)
  These are often interpretations, projections, or meaning-making, right? Yeah. So we got a few ones. So red flags for me are the two words. You should you always, you never or you need to. I'm not a fan of forever words, always and never. Sensation sounds like my chest feels tight and I'm noticing a lump in my throat. There's a heat rising from within me. I'm feeling an opening in my heart center. I can share that. My partner shared a sensation with me about a couple of months ago. She said, I feel a contraction about something I said, and she shared about what made her feel contraction. It wasn't a you said this and therefore I got triggered. It's just, Hey, this is how I'm feeling, right? Blame.

  (20:18)
  So communication, why it matters in psychedelic and intimacy spaces. So stories can trigger defensiveness or misunderstanding. When we're triggered, we're not thinking clearly. The limbic system is activated. We're just not seeing straight. So sensations build, presence, vulnerability, and connection. I'm noticing a contraction in me that might mean I'm triggered. Let me share this. I've shared this now. I've let go of it. Now I feel a bit more open. I feel lighter in altered states. Stories can spin spiral fast, and sensations can help anchor us. I'm triggered. I'm spiraling. I'm going in circles. I'm looping. My thoughts are looping. Invitation to take a breath, hand on heart, hand on belly. Just feel into what's happening in the body right now. Anchor in that ground, in that feel that. So in this moment, I invite you take a breath and just name what's happening right now in your body without explaining it.

  (21:57)
  And I guess if anyone feels a sensation and they want to share, maybe yeah, drop it in the chat, right? Phil says, feeling both expansive and anxious. Yeah. Thank you for sharing, Phil. Hungry and relaxed, tight shoulders holding my breath. So communication, practice for intimacy with partner. How can I love you better? Phil, are you available? How about Justine? Regie says, bloated and relaxed. Emily, tight in my chest, worried, sad. A little disconnected work mode being present to the topic. Okay, great. So I guess, yeah, for this I have a little practice and I have two people on this call that, oh,

  Speaker 4 (23:18):
  

  Sorry.

  Speaker 1 (23:19):
  

  Hey, Justine.

  Speaker 4 (23:20):
  

  Hi.

  Speaker 1 (23:21):
  

  Hey, Phil.

  Speaker 4 (23:22):
  

  Hi.

  Speaker 1 (23:23):
  

  Would the two of you like to introduce yourselves?

  Speaker 5 (23:28):
  

  Phil Laier.

  Speaker 4 (23:30):
  

  And I'm Justine Laier.

  Speaker 5 (23:32):
  

  We're sex, love, and relationship coaches and retreat leaders and lots of other things.

  Speaker 1 (23:41):
  

  Awesome. Thanks so much for being here.

  Speaker 5 (23:44):
  

  You're

  Speaker 1 (23:44):
  

  Welcome. Are y'all still open and available to do a demo of this practice?

  Speaker 5 (23:51):
  

  Sure, sure.

  Speaker 1 (23:52):
  

  Okay, great. So I invite the two of you to face each other and gaze into each other's eyes, just taking some deep breaths. And Phil, when you're ready, if you can ask Justine, how can I love you better?

  Speaker 6 (24:34):
  

  Love you. How can I love you better?

  Speaker 7 (24:50):
  

  You can come home from your outings earlier than you say you're going to. Sometimes you can maybe check in with me a little bit more when you're out from me for the day and maybe check in with me when you get home. Kiss me more. I think I'm complete for now.

  Speaker 6 (25:24):
  

  So I heard come home earlier than I said I would. And check in with you while I'm out and about and check in once I get home and kiss you more.

  Speaker 7 (25:39):
  

  Yeah, those are things that are hot for me today.

  Speaker 6 (25:42):
  

  Thank you for sharing that with me.

  Speaker 1 (25:55):
  

  And when you feel complete, taking a breath and maybe just finding a way to thank or love or

  Speaker 6 (26:15):
  

  Thanks for letting me know that.

  Speaker 1 (26:22):
  

  Thank you too for demoing that we had a little trouble hearing from the microphone, but to paraphrase, Phil asked Justine, how can I love you better? And Justine explained that, Hey, if you could communicate about time better, maybe come back when you say you're going to come back, Justine, would you agree with that?

  Speaker 4 (26:54):
  

  Yeah. Or either right? When you say he says he's going to come back or like 15 minutes early, not cutting it so close to the time. And to check in with me if he's out for the day doing something real intimate to check in with me during the day with a text and then to have a check-in when he gets home.

  Speaker 1 (27:23):
  

  And Phil, it was so great because you listened, you validated, and you responded. There wasn't any defensiveness.

  Speaker 5 (27:36):
  

  Yeah. Well our relationship is pretty clear and integrity. So it's

  Speaker 4 (27:45):
  

  Even when there's challenges.

  Speaker 1 (27:48):
  

  Yeah. Thank you both for that. And I guess one final question I feel I'm curious about is how are you both feeling post doing that prompt? What sensation might you be feeling now?

  Speaker 5 (28:12):
  

  Well, it's wonderful to think about how in love I am with her and sharing that kind of intimacy.

  Speaker 4 (28:22):
  

  I guess the time issue when it's not followed, I get really dysregulated and it's really hard to regulate myself even when I know what's happening. And so practicing it not happening is a good way to soothe my nervous system. And so just to say it again and also realize that maybe I need a little more than just him showing up and that I need a little more checking in maybe during the day so I don't feel completely forgotten. I think. So that was kind of something I learned, so I feel good.

  Speaker 1 (29:03):
  

  Awesome. Thank you so much. Now

  Speaker 5 (29:08):
  

  To be clear with everyone who's listening, the context is in open relating. So me going to visit another partner and when am I coming back?

  Speaker 1 (29:23):
  

  Thank you for giving that context.

  Speaker 8 (29:25):
  

  Thank

  Speaker 5 (29:25):
  

  You.

  Speaker 1 (29:30):
  

  And what I've learned is the more we communicate better when we're sober, the easier it is to do when we're in altered if we're seeking intimacy in altered states. And so medicines can be door openers. And so asking a question like this with a partner when being intimate can open up a lot of different doorways for growth. So moving on, going to present a little bit about the inner beloved. So the inner beloved is relationship. Surely the mirror to you, the mirror to discover yourself, to be related, to be related is existence. And it's the part of you that longs for love, safety, presence, and devotion, a sacred inner relationship with your body, your truth, your spirit, the you who is worthy of care even when no one else is around.